A Beginner’s Guide To Skipping Out Of Work

It seems like when we have to take off of work the weather sucks or the day is beautiful yet filled with appointment after appointment. Well today is going to be a beautiful day and you would love to enjoy the day abut you have to work! So what do you do? Here are a few tips that may work in your favor if you execute them correctly.

Let’s say that you have a friend who has the day off and wants to go into the city(you don’t work in the city) and wants to you to go with her. It’s going to be a lovely day and she has it all planned out, a little shopping, pampering and topped off with dinner and drinks. Here’s what you do:

1. You get to work an hour early on that day looking crazy, like you were up all night. When a co-worker/boss asks you what’s wrong you simply say that a relative stayed over and was very sick and you were up all night cleaning vomit. It was early you decided to get dressed and come in since they seemed to be okay but you told them to call you just in case they needed you.

2. An hour-hour and a half after you are supposed to be at work, pick up your cellphone(make sure it is off) and frantically grab your things. Say things like “ok, are you sure? you need me to take you?” make it believable. Run into your bosses office or whoever’s in charge and tell them about your sick relative again and you will call when you get to the HOSPITAL. An hour after you leave and every hour after until it’s time for you to get off but by then someone should have already said, “we will see you tomorrow” but if they haven’t, give your job a call, you are still in the hospital.

For the day that you are at work and you are extremely tired or hung-over. The one thing that works without a doubt, a migraine.

1. If you have a dark pair of sunglasses put them on, every now and then put your head down.

2. Go to the break-room if you have one and cut the lights out and when someone walks in and they ask what’s wrong, tell them you have a migraine and the lights are hurting your eyes. A few tears make it even better.

3. Return to your desk, close the blinds if you sit next to a window, still wearing your shades, every now and then put your head down. If there is someone at your job that knows what a migraine feels like, they will encourage you to go home.

Again these will only work if they are executed correctly.

Orgasms

While working on my next book, I decided that I wanted to add more. At first I couldn’t figure out what the more was. Then one day I had this double “a-ha” moment. I had to go back to the beginning of the manuscript and incorporate the second “a-ha” moment first. After that, I soon realized that for the first “a-ha”” I had to do a little research. I thought it’s a book of short erotic stories so what could I possibly have to research? I mean I do have a creative imagination so what could I possibly be researching? Here’s the thing, I wanted my main character to experience everything she could possibly experience sexually. Which meant I wanted her to come in every way. So I thought there has to be more to it than just squirting or creaming. So after researching, I learned that there were 11 types of orgasms. Yes 11, that isn’t a typo. I’m not even gonna name them in this post, I’m just gonna either write a poem or tell a story about these orgasms. But ladies could you believe that 11 orgasms?

So to start off, here is what orgasm means as well as its origin:

orgasm
[awr-gaz-uh m]

noun
1. the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of sexual excitation, usually resulting from stimulation of the sexual organ and usually accompanied in the male by ejaculation.
2. an instance of experiencing this.
3. intense or unrestrained excitement.
4. an instance or occurrence of such excitement.
verb (used without object)
5. to have an orgasm.
Origin of orgasm
1640-50; < New Latin orgasmus < Greek orgasmós, derivative of orgân to swell, be excited

NOW CAN YOU IMAGINE HAVE 11 DIFFERENT TYPES OF ORGASMS???