It’s funny how there is chemistry and then there isn’t any chemistry between two people. Ever wonder why that is? The way I see it, two people either share a common interest in one thing or a common interest in a variety of things. Then you have people who have nothing in common.

What makes people fall for each other? Is it that common interest or is it something else? Who really knows the answer to that? Ever met someone and knew that person is who you wanted to be with? Would you say that you wanted to be with that person because of the common interest? Could it be that you had the same exact feeling when you met your first love (if that first love is gone)? That feeling being a warm feeling, or do you find yourself thinking about that person day in and day out? The best is when you think about this person during a long day that seems as if it is never going to end. A smile automatically appears on your face, and all of a sudden your day is over. When it comes down to it the feeling is just unexplainable.

Did you ever think that it could be lust? But if you haven’t had sex, how could you say that it is lust? But if you have had sex it could be lust and for others it could really be love. Who knows or does anybody even care? What are you to do in a situation like that? Do you say to the other person, “Hey even though I don’t know you like that, I think that you and I can have something good, but first we must build a solid foundation so that if something goes wrong we can work it out together. And, no matter what, we still stay friends and know that we did give it a try?” Or do you say, “Let’s just have sex with no strings attached?” No matter what, either way you go the outcome may be the one you don’t want to hear or end up regretting.

Why is it so hard to tell another person how you feel about them? Why can’t you just say how you feel at that exact moment when you are asked? Why do you have to take longer than a minute?

How does, and when does, a woman/man know he/she is in love and is being loved? Will he/she ever be true to his/her feelings and admit that he/she is in love and is being loved? When does he/she know that he/she doesn’t want to let “the one” go? But yet why is he/she capable of cheating on “the one?” There are some men/women out there who will be faithful, and then you have others who just have to run up in everything.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you ever be TRUE to your feelings?


Remember back in elementary school when asking someone out was very simple. Not even asking the person but finding out how they felt about you. All you had to do was write a note, asking that person if they liked you and to circle the answer. Now as we get older it seems as if it gets difficult. Why does it get difficult? Because you never know if the person likes you, the oral, or the sex. We all know that people can say the damnedest things at a time when it feels good. But how many people mean what they say and say what they mean? I say what I mean and I mean what I say. But do you?
Are you one of those people who say what they think sounds right at that particular moment? You know those are the ones who lose out in the end! What do I mean by that? They say all the right things at the wrong moment and whomever they’re saying it to doesn’t believe it because they know that they shouldn’t. Would you believe me if I told you that I cared about you when the feeling was oh – so – good?! I wouldn’t! Then after it was all said and done that person was the one who was going to love them right, but they blew it because of the moment they knew that’s what wanted to be heard. That person was going to be the one who was going to give them the world by any means necessary. Crazy, but you never would have thought that, right!
Then you realize that you should have been true to that person. You shoulda said what you meant and meant what you said. It gets real crazy sometimes. Don’t think because the feeling is right that you have to say something good just to get more of what you are getting. Say what’s in your heart, and everything will come right! So if you say it at the right time, it’s more believable then that person stays in your corner. If you say it at the wrong time, then that person walks and you’re left kicking yourself in the ass.
If you say what you really mean to say it’s more believable, if you say what wants to be heard, if the other person is smart then he/she walks.


What is it all about?
According to Forest Gump and his mama,
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what
you’re going to get.”
To some, that may be true
to others…well…their theory
might be different.
Is life really what you make of it or what
you make out of it?
Ever wonder why life changes
through the course of time?
Is your life supposed to change?
Is my life supposed to change?
Were we given life to make an impact?
Were we given life to make less of an impact?
Are we here just to be?
Are we here to accomplish something?
I know that I’m here for a reason.
I consider myself to be the chosen one,
not in some sick demented
way but to get a point across.
What point?
Any and all points, I’m here to make everyone aware.
Aware of life and its surroundings.
Life isn’t like a box
of chocolates, life is about being.
You being the controller of your life.
You being the one not afraid of making mistakes.
You not being afraid to admitting to your mistakes.
Life is about taking advantage,
advantage of your life.
Life can change only if you want it to change.
If your life stays the same it doesn’t mean
that you are boring.
Your life can remain the same and not be
boring, it’s all about how you live your life.
That same dull “boring” life can be lived
with animation.
It is your choice whether you make that
big impact or that less of an impact.
It’s sad to say but,
it seems like the only time you accomplish something
it goes unrecognized until you’re 6 feet below.
Shameless to say, but that’s the way that it goes.
When it does go recognized it’s because you
are worth millions…
But everyone on this earth should
consider themselves priceless.
But a life is so much more than
millions, billions, trillions, or even gazillions.
It’s just about how you live your life.
So again, I ask you
what is YOUR life about?


One of my favorite rappers is Jay-Z and Regrets is my absolute favorite song of his. I just go into a zone when I hear this song. No matter when I hear or just want to play it, I zone all the way out. My favorite part of the song is when he’s talking to a friend but in all actuality he was talking to his friend’s spirit. I sometimes find my self thinking about my brother who passed away and I get lost in my thought and it feels as if he’s right next me and we are talking to each other. That’s deep.

The moral of the song is about getting to the top and what we do in order to get there. So the main thing he is rapping about is living with regrets. We know that what we are doing is wrong and we will regret it and it’s something that we have to learn to live with.

My question: Why do something when we know that we are going to regret it?

My opinion: I think that we do what we do and are aware of the consequences because it is a learning experience. Everything that we do we learn from – whether it is good or bad. There is something that is being taught to us. It is up to the individual to get something out of it. Me, personally, I have no regrets. I’ve made bad choices but, at the same time, learned more about myself. I learned what I can and cannot handle. I also learned what my needs and wants are when it comes to myself. I don’t regret going through and/or doing what I did. Some people do have regrets and there are others that don’t have any regrets.

My question to you, do you have any regrets?


As I sit here I find myself
thinking of you,
Could it be that I’ve taken on anew?
I never thought our paths would
cross like this,
I feel as if I’ve reached a state of complete
Every day that goes by,
I feel as though I’m on a natural
I’m floating on this cloud
and everything no longer seems loud.
On this cloud the light
is oh so bright.
There’s no malice.
Everything is just so well balanced.
You help me maintain that sane piece of mind
Which makes things easier to find.
I sit here and think WHOA!
What a crazy blow.
The one hit from you
changes that gray sky to blue.
The more & more I think of you,
the more I realize that I have indeed
taken on anew.

Hey 2018

Hey 2018,

How you doing? It’s so nice to meet you. But,um looka here, this year I’m going to try something different. Instead of making resolutions and you not following up just to see where and how I’m doing, I’m going to just take action. We both know that WE don’t know what YOU have in store for ME but I know what I have in store for my self. So I’ma just need for you to sit back and relax and let me, help you be fantastic for me. Your friend 2017, was alright but could have been better. She threw me a few curve balls that I was able to dodge and others well, I was able to get up and dust my self off. So what you not gonna do is throw me a pitch that is going to take me out of my game.

Like I said, sit back, relax and let me help you be fantastic for me. Every now and then I know we are going to have a few meetings just to check up and talk about our progress. We will exchange notes, and work on whatever needs to be worked on. Mmmkay?

Again, nice to meet you and let’s get started.

Your new friend,


Can you imagine having excruciating cramps every five minutes, then clots of blood flowing down? Placing pad on top of pad making it seem like you’re wearing a pamper? Finally the pain and the bleeding is too much the bear, so your mother takes you to the emergency room  where you find out that you are having a miscarriage. They pull this little thing out of you and place it in a jar. As you watch them so many emotions run through your mind. The first thought, why me? Second thought, why did this have to happen on Mother’s Day? After seeing your doctor, he tells you that you will never be able to have children. What? The? Fuck? Feels like a ton of bricks are hitting you and instead of falling down on you, they are all being thrown at you.

You eventually accept the fact that you can no longer have children and hope that whomever you end up falling in love with doesn’t want any. Sounds fucked up but hey it is what it is. Right?

Imagine months later you have praying hands touch you in a spot that only you know isn’t right. They place their hands in that spot and begin to pray and pray. 

Now imagine years after that, giving birth to two amazing, handsome, smart, energetic, funny, loving, outgoing boys. Or girls. 

After having a miscarriage, being told that I couldn’t and having praying hands, I birthed two boys. One came via c-section and the other I was able to push out.

As I watch them sleep or just stare at them I’m always amazed. I always said that if I ever had kids, I wanted a boy. Not one but two chose me to be their mother when they said it wasn’t possible.

I look at them and I truly believe nothing is impossible. So as I move forward, I know any and everything that I want for not only myself but for them is possible.