A few years ago, five to be exact, I had an ischemic stroke. At the time, I didn’t know that’s what was happening and didn’t know it happened until after it happened. To find out why it happened, there were many doctor appointments. None of the doctors could find out or figure out why. One doctor said that according to the textbook, I did have a stroke, but there were no signs as I healed on my own. Crazy right?!
Well, after having the stoke, I went to physical, occupational, and speech therapy. How did that work out? The physical therapist said I could do the exercises at home. Occupational and speech therapists said the same. The only therapist who wasn’t wrong was the physical therapist.
I hear myself talk and read aloud, and I struggle with some of the easiest words. I have brain farts in mid conversation. And sometimes, I might even slur my words. It’s a good thing that I don’t yell at my kids because I wouldn’t or shall I say, I can’t yell at them properly. Not that I want to, but you get what I’m saying.
As for writing, I’m a lefty, so I already do things a little backward. No, I don’t start writing in the back of a notebook. No, I don’t write with my hand turned in, making it look like I’m hiding what I’m writing. No, I don’t make my check marks backward. I never knew that was such a thing until I saw two left-handed people do it.
My dad made me work on my handwriting, making sure that it was always neat. So he’d always look over my homework. Let’s take this, for instance, say I started writing this neatly, and it got sloppy in the middle and the neat again towards the end.
My dad would make me write this over. He would make me don’t first thing when I got up in the morning for school. If he didn’t write on the paper, I didn’t re-write it, but if he did well. I re-wrote it. So that helped me with making sure I wrote neat. Even now now if I write something and it’s sloppy, I start all over. Crumble up the paper and re-write. I also tilt my notebook or paper to the side. Well, it’s slanted, and my writing is straight instead of the paper being straight and my handwriting slanted.
Now, I hold my pen or pencil weird, and if I don’t take my time, my writing is sloppy, but if I do take my time, it’s neat. So yes, I’m constantly starting over, tearing paper out of notebooks. I also tend to write with a pencil, my reliable Ticondergo No. 2, and if I use a pen, I prefer a Bic medium point pen. I can erase if it looks sloppy if I write in a pencil, and I have a better chance of writing neatly with that medium point pen.
I also have a problem that affects my handwriting. Being that I’m a lefty, I have to maneuver how I hold my fork when I eat. It looks like I’m using the fork like a shovel, can’t eat with chopsticks anymore. I also can’t pick up things off the floor with my left hand like I can with my right hand. So the things that I used to do with my left hand besides writing and eating I can’t. Left hand not as strong anymore.
Now, although I can still walk, kinda sorta. Rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, and having no cartilage in my right knee cause me to walk with a limp. The physical therapist I saw after the stroke was right. I did the exercises on my own until I couldn’t. The occupational therapist could have seen me a little longer. I also could have seen the speech therapist a little longer.
I did a podcast interview, and during the interview, I could tell I was struggling. After watching it, I could see that I was struggling. After listening to it, I could hear myself struggling. Seeing and hearing are two different things because I’m able to pick up different nuances. Good thing I can practice answering questions.
So although there are no signs that I had a stroke, there are remnants of one that still exist.
Arnittress Dowdy 